Andrew's Anguish
by elfmaiden4legs
Summary: As the 'Angel of Death' Andrew sees a lot of pain and heartbreak in his job. Sometimes the suffering is just too much for one angel to bare! Thankfully he has good friends to help him through the dark times.


**Andrew's Anguish**

"I don't think I can do this anymore Tess." Andrew trembled, shaking with the full force of his own grief as his best and oldest friend took him into her arms.

"I know baby." She soothed him. "I know, but it's alright to feel scared once in a while."

She cradled his head in her hands, stroking his flowing blonde hair away from his face, and wiping away a tear with a gentle thumb.

"People don't think that angels can cry, but just because we're not human that doesn't mean we can't feel their pain." She explained, as she held him tight. "We feel their pain, we take so much of their suffering into our own hearts, and sometimes it hurts baby – but God can feel our pain too, and he gives us the strength to bare our burden so that we may heal, and in time he will heal us too."

Andrew had witnessed to so much heartbreak as the Angel of Death, so much suffering – but his heart was still so full of love. He sat with people during their final hours on earth, and held their hand as they drew their final breath. Most went peacefully, and embraced the presence of an Angel throughout their final moments, allowing Andrew to guide them home – but due to the very nature of death there were still those who refused to accept it, who went over to the afterlife kicking and screaming, fighting for every last agonising breath – and when this happened it was Andrew who felt their pain.

He hurt so much more than anyone ever realised, and never spoke about his own suffering – except for when he didn't feel as though he could bare it anymore. His was such a huge responsibility and burden to bare alone, and he kept the pain of what he witnessed bottled up within his own heart in order to spare the concerns of others – but even angels needed an outlet for their grief sometimes, and when Andrew needed a shoulder to cry on, or even just an understanding ear to listen, he always knew he could count on Tess.

Sometimes all it took to cleanse the heart of its burden was a sympathetic ear and somebody willing to give up a few moments of their time to listen.

Andrew's tears continued to cascade down his cheeks, and as his legs buckled from underneath him Tess caught him under his arms before he fell, and gently lowered him to the ground.

"Why do we do this Tess?" He sobbed. "I don't understand, we see so much, why must we continue to put ourselves through this?"

"Because it's our job baby." Tess explained, cradling the distraught angel within her arms and rocking him gently back and forth, as she rubbed his back soothingly. "We were created to serve God, and we each must serve our own purpose – although I suspect in yours you perhaps see more heartbreak than most. Death can be a very bleak affair."

Andrew shook his head.

"It isn't death Tess." He explained. "No it's never easy, but it's my job to bring comfort to those experiencing their final moments of life, and I am proud to serve the Lord in this way. I know I deliver his children home to him, so that they too may feel his love, and that I bring hope to those in most need of it.

It's the things that people do to each other which breaks my heart, they have such a huge capacity for love and yet so many spread their anger and hate as though it were a disease. They relish in the pain and suffering that they inflict on others... and I don't know how much more of that I can take."

Tess didn't speak. She didn't have any answers and wisely she realised that what the Angel of Death needed more than anything was not explanation but simply the opportunity to speak to someone who would listen. She hoped that in time she might be a catalyst for his healing.

"It just hurts Tess." Andrew sighed. "To have the pain of a billion different souls swimming around inside my head, and it never goes away. Their pain stays with me, it never goes away."

"I know baby." She sympathised, and held him to her tightly, cradling his head like a child's within her hands. "I know. It must be so hard sometimes, to see what you have to see, and to do what you have to do, but the Lord has blessed you with great strength..."

"I don't feel very strong Tess." Andrew confessed to her. "I don't feel very strong at all."

"Yours is one of the strongest souls I know Angel Boy." She soothed.

"Andrew?" Monica's rich Irish tones sang out in concern from behind them, and Tess could hear her gentle footsteps as she approached the pair. As she neared Andrew's side and placed a loving hand upon his trembling shoulder Tess smiled. Monica's heart was so full of love, she always seemed to know instinctively where she was most needed, and went were she was called. Her love for her friends seemed especially strong and unconditional, and she and Andrew had a particularly strong and special bond.

"It's alright baby." Tess did her best to console her, as she acknowledged the fear and uncertainty in the young angel's deep brown eyes, but Monica wasn't reassured by Tess's words. She continued to regard Andrew anxiously.

"Difficult case?" She asked him, and Andrew nodded, drying his eyes as Monica helped him gently to his feet. She wrapped a comforting arm around her best friend's shoulders. She was so incredibly perceptive of other's needs, and immediately shrouded him in her loving embrace – a warm and golden glow now emanating from the both of them.

Tess smiled.

"Find strength in your friend's Angel Boy." She advised her Angel of Death wisely, as Monica led him away. Tess watched them go, and as she did so she asked for God's help to heal Andrew.

Her reply came back almost immediately. God had already looked into his Angel's heart, and had felt his pain – he'd sensed his sorrow and his anguish – and it was going to take time and a lot of patience on their part to mend his broken heart, but given just that he'd also reassured her that Andrew was going to be just fine.

He'd been made stronger than even he himself realised, but in the meantime he had his two friend's by his side to help see him through the worst of what his job had to throw at him.


End file.
